Numbers
As I step on the scales I greet the numbers there with glee, those same numbers which horrified me on the way up I am joyfully embracing on the way down. I've moved away from the constant re checking, the standing on the scales 5 times a day, instead I hop on once a week to see the numbers that my body suggests are true.Clothes are fitting better, yesterday I pulled on a pair of jeans not seen since winter 2004.
But its more than that. It's a feeling of allowing. I am now not scared of losing weight, making changes. It has always felt safe being *"big" and at least it is familiar. I am starting to realise what in reality being "big" is for me, it was being immobilized & fearful, hiding.
And I don't feel that any more.
* big is a relative term, especially here in HK where the average woman of childbearing age weighs 90 pounds.
Tag: Mia, weight, fear
